Learning The Key to Happiness
So you want to learn the key to happiness.
Well, a little secret for you—that makes two of us.
Yes, it’s true. I’m not here to provide you with a “6 Secrets to Happiness” list.
No fantastical portrayal of the magical practices that truly happy people do every day.
I’m not here to hand you a step-by-step guide to happiness and spoon-feed it to you like syrupy sweetness melting on your tongue. I’m not even going to give you an outline of what those things might be to make my point.
The truth is, I’m no expert in happiness. And perhaps, like most of you, I’ve been chasing it my entire life. I’ve devoured self-help books, thrown myself into spirituality and religion, and, as the ADHD poster child of adventure sports, I’ve sought happiness in the thrill of new experiences.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
My wife and I, and our guide climbing Mt.Ijen near our home in East Java, Indonesia
Like Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project, I’ve tried to build a life full of happiness through experimentation—exploring everything from starting a family, the gambit of spirituality and religion, and finding it in the mundane and simple daily healthy habits. And along the way, have even developed some habits that have led to anything but health or happiness.
So if you’re here for a perfect formula or guaranteed advice, my apologies.
This being said, I do have something very important to pass on that I believe is the secret to achieving happiness. I do think there is a way.
And here’s the thing — the key to happiness is hiding in plain sight from the beginning. It’s just missing a small, seemingly insignificant detail: a comma.
The correct title of this piece should read: Learning, The Key to Happiness.
Why Learning Is the Key to Happiness
At this point, you might be asking, Why learning? Isn’t happiness about relationships, career success, or achieving inner peace? Sure, all of those play a role, but I’ve come to realize that real, sustainable happiness comes from something deeper. Whether you’re following “10 steps to happiness” from a self-help guru or finding it in the pages of a holy book, it always boils down to one thing: learning.
Happiness is about growth — it’s about becoming a better version of yourself. And that’s where learning comes in. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset shows how people who believe they can learn and improve are more likely to embrace challenges, persist through setbacks, and ultimately find more satisfaction in life. It’s not just about achieving success, but about the process of learning itself that fosters happiness.
Think of the times you felt truly fulfilled. Wasn’t there always some kind of learning involved, whether conscious or not? Learning stretches us, challenges us, and ultimately gives us that sense of progress we all crave.
In psychology, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described achieving Flow — a state of deep focus and engagement in an activity — as one of the most powerful experiences of happiness. Csikszentmihalyi, in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, explains that Flow occurs when we are fully immersed in activities that challenge us just enough to keep us engaged but not overwhelmed. It’s in these moments, he argues, that we experience the most profound sense of satisfaction and happiness. As Csikszentmihalyi says, “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
Learning as Happiness in Action
So, how does this apply to you? Whether you’re a student, a professional, or just someone trying to navigate the ups and downs of life, falling in love with learning might be your secret weapon.
Here’s where you can start:
-Learning in Everyday Life: Think about the last time you picked up a new hobby or skill. Did it bring you joy? Maybe you learned to cook a new dish or finally mastered that musical instrument you’ve been meaning to practice. Learning doesn’t have to be monumental to bring happiness — it can be found in small victories.
Actionable Idea: Take 10 minutes each day to learn something new. Whether it’s reading an article, watching a short tutorial, or picking up a book you’ve always wanted to explore, give yourself the gift of learning regularly.
-Professional Learning and Growth: For those of us working jobs we love — or even jobs we don’t — there’s something to be said for continuous growth. When we stop learning, work feels stagnant. But when we’re given new challenges or the opportunity to develop new skills, we experience a sense of accomplishment. Daniel Pink, in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, emphasizes that one of the key elements of long-term motivation is mastery — the desire to improve at something that matters. Learning and professional growth fulfill that deep need for mastery, which, in turn, creates satisfaction and happiness in our work.
Actionable Idea: Seek out professional development opportunities. This could be taking an online course related to your field, asking for more responsibility at work, or simply tackling a project that pushes you out of your comfort zone.
-Learning as a Path to Self-Discovery: Sometimes, learning isn’t about acquiring a new skill but about discovering new things about yourself. It might be emotional intelligence, empathy, or even learning how to take care of your mental health. This form of learning is deeply personal and can lead to long-lasting happiness. After all, self-awareness is one of the keys to leading a fulfilling life.
Actionable Idea: Reflect on areas of your life where you want to grow. Is it managing stress, developing better relationships, or improving your health? Identify something you’d like to explore further and find resources — books, workshops, or even therapy — to guide your journey of learning.
“Go With The Flow” An original cyanotype print by Adam Bachmeyer
The Relationship Between Learning and Flow
Flow isn’t just a fancy concept — it’s something you’ve likely experienced at some point, whether you realized it or not. Have you ever lost track of time while doing something you loved, whether it was painting, writing, coding, or solving a puzzle? That’s Flow in action. And it’s deeply connected to learning.
When we challenge ourselves to learn something new or to improve our skills, we enter that state of Flow more easily. This is where happiness resides — not in the destination but in the journey. In the moment when we’re fully engaged and absorbed, when the outside world seems to fade away, that’s where real happiness lies.
Actionable Idea: Find activities that make you lose track of time. These could be hobbies, creative projects, or even work tasks that push you just beyond your current abilities. Once you identify them, build them into your routine so you can experience Flow more often.
The Conclusion: Fall in Love with Learning
Here’s the real truth: I’ve never regretted learning something new. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who said, “I really wish I hadn’t learned that.” Whether or not the learning led to success or failure, it always brought me something valuable.
Socrates famously said, “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” This idea — that learning is a process of constant growth and curiosity — is what has fueled generations of thinkers, creators, and innovators. So, while I can’t give you a magical, foolproof recipe for happiness, I can offer this: fall in love with learning. Learning won’t promise constant happiness, but it will promise growth. And through that growth, you’ll find fulfillment — and maybe, just maybe, a happiness that lasts.
What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to learn? Start today. Whether it’s big or small, give yourself the gift of learning, and watch how it transforms your life.
